How to Write Comedy – Family Stories

Last Updated on Tuesday, 6 July 2010 04:30 Written by Lanie Adamson Tuesday, 6 July 2010 04:12

I had mixed emotions after our youngest daughter’s wedding. On one hand, it went off almost entirely as planned. On the other hand, I expected to have some comedy material for an upcoming Toastmasters contest and was rather empty-handed.

The material was there. It just needed some creative editing. Here are the before and after versions of one story in “The Simple Wedding.” The talk was a hit.

The Ring Bearer – Before

The wedding took place outdoors in the late afternoon of a hot July day in the central coast of California. Fifteen minutes after the wedding was to start, the guests were seated in the hot sun and fanning themselves. Finally the wedding party lined up and the guitarist began to play. The bridesmaids and groomsmen took their places on either side of a gazebo garlanded with roses. The ring bearer had had enough of waiting and he stomped his way down the red carpet. Then he ran to his mother, one of the bridesmaids.

The Ring Bearer – After

The after version shows the setup lines (S and S-2) and punch lines (P-1 and P-2), as described below.

S: It was an outdoor wedding on the hottest day in 10 years on the central California coast. Wood chairs were lined up in front of a large gazebo decorated with pink and white roses. The guests took their chairs and fanned themselves.

S: Fifteen minutes after the appointed time, the guitarist signaled the start of the wedding. The bridesmaids strode gracefully to the altar on the arms of the groomsmen. The minister and groom moved into their positions. Just like rehearsal.

S: The ring bearer, our 6-year-old grandson, wore a tuxedo and a scowl. His job was to ring a bell to announce the bride, but he was fed up from waiting.

S: He sulked and stomped all the way down the red carpet to the altar

P-1: Where he tripped over a bridesmaid.

S-2 : Fortunately, we didn’t have to worry about losing the rings.

P-2 : The bride and groom had tattoos.

My technique is to write down a story or a few lines from an event to capture it on paper, letting everything flow onto the paper without worrying about grammar, punctuation or spelling. I capture visual elements that bring the scene to life: weather (guests fanning themselves), location (central California coast) and mood (graceful bridesmaids, grumpy grandson). I save this version as source material and then “Save As” the spoken version.

I write out the spoken version in the setup and punch line format shown above, a technique I learned from professional comedian Steve Roye at www.killerstandup.com. It’s easy to read and memorize.

Next I concentrate on what will get laughs. It took several rewrites before the ring bearer tripped over the bridesmaid. When I had that image, I knew it was right.

And sometimes you don’t need to change a thing:

S: At the reception, it was time for the toast.

S: The Father of the Bride raised his glass and began: As we were preparing for this wedding, I asked a friend of mine – who had married off 5 daughters – for his advice.

P: He said: Show up, shut up and pay up!

©2010 Lanie Adamson. All rights reserved.